Written by Abel Rodriguez
Print this

Monday, 20 September 2010

image for Ashton Kutcher Says He Is Getting Tired Of Demi "The Cougar" Moore
A bag of money that Demi Moore gave Ashton Kutcher when they first got married five years ago.

SAN FRANCISCO - Ashton Kutcher was in town visiting one of his old gay friends when he was asked if the rumor about him getting tired of being with Demi Moore was true.

Kutcher smiled and nodded yes and added that the fifteen year age difference between them is starting to get to him.

He was asked if it is true he has been seeing other women. Ashton again nodded yes and said that it's nothing serious and that it was just a matter of him just wanting to sample some of the younger foxes that are available.

Kutcher said that he is starting to get tired of constantly hearing remarks such as "Hey Ash, how is mommy Demi doing today?" and "Hey K-Boy any new scratch marks from the old cougar?"

Ashton says that he is also getting fed up with every night going to bed with the smell of Ben Gay, Cellulite-Be-Gone, and G-Spot Balm.

He says that he still loves Demi but that he just cannot see himself tied down to a woman who is old enough to be his mother.

SIDENOTE: One of the reasons why Ashton has remained with Moore is because when they first got married five years ago, Demi's ex-husband Bruce Willis told him that if he ever hurt her, he would personally kick his ass so hard that his body would be in Hollywood and his ass would be in Lake Tahoe, Nevada.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 3?

2 3 20 16
39 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more