Sources from close to those in the know, who may or may not be directly involved with Her Majesty's Prison Service (but probably not) today issued a vehement rebuff to suggestions from certain commentators that former Wham! star George Michael has fallen pregnant whilst incarcerated in HMP Pentonville.
The sources insisted that the 'George Michael is pregnant' rumours were patently ridiculous, because basically, men don't get pregnant - not even if they are as gay as a pink Easter bunny in a tu-tu and ballet shoes. With lipstick. And mascara. And hair gel.
Scientific research appears to bear this out, as records show that most pregnancies were borne by the female of the species.
Nobody seems to be absolutely certain from whence the initial 'George Michael is pregnant' rumours originated, but it is thought that slightly camp prison inmates tend to be subjected to sexual abuse by fat hairy gay blokes in the prison showers, and are routinely advised upon induction never, under any circumstances to bend over.
Especially not in the showers.
Insiders say that there are sometimes homosexual liaisons in a behind bars environment, but insist that most such stories are the stuff of urban myth.
Reports indicate that George Michael, although frightened and worried by the prospect of uninvited anal invasion by undesirables during his four week incarceration, has not been experiencing morning sickness or extraordinary cravings.
Other than for freedom.
One former prisoner did however inform us that there is one prisoner who every hardcore inmate would like to severely fuck - Ian Huntley. But not in a gay way.
When asked how his one-time fellow inmates felt about George Michael the former prisoner just laughed, shook his head, and walked away.
Singing, "I Knew You'd Be Waiting"
More as we get it.