Written by Skoob1999
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Friday, 17 September 2010

image for A Sexed Up Daybreak? Do We Really Need To See Adrian Chiles And Christine Bleakley Getting Jiggy First Thing In The Morning?
Eggs For Breakfast - Not Flirtatiousness.

Rumour has it that Daybreak presenters, Adrian Chiles and Christine Bleakley have been instructed by TV bosses to 'sex it up' in order to boost flagging ratings for their early morning TV show.

Chiles and Bleakley have emphatically denied receiving such instructions, and openly mocked the suggestion on the show. But the question remains: Does the TV viewing public really want to see Chiles and Bleakley cavorting about like lovestruck teens at breakfast time?

"Absolutely not, dear boy," Skoob Entertainment News supremo Buffty Ginslinger told us from the rehab clinic he is currently attending. "It's just not cricket. Mind you, I'm usually in bed when the show goes on air, sleeping one off - either that or waking up in a skip or a police cell. But those two flirting won't help the show's ratings at all. In fact, it'll probably lead to a mass switch off, should it ever happen. People just don't want to see a Brummie and an Irishwoman getting all unnecessary as they have their tea and toast."

Most people we spoke to tended to agree with Ginslinger's analysis, telling us that they wanted hard news stories at the start of the day, so they'll have something to talk about when they're on their fag breaks at work. Or in the pub after work, or in the pub at work, if they work in pubs.

Lembit Opik declined to comment on the matter, Katie Price was still in bed when we rang her, and Eamon Holmes was too busy presenting Sky News with Jackie Beltrao to comment.

At the time of going to press, George Michael was still in Pentonville prison being tormented by fellow inmates singing 'I Wanna Sex You Up' through the bars.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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