Written by Skoob1999
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Wednesday, 15 September 2010

image for George Michael Given Another Ten Years After Reports That He Swerved To Avoid Hitting Gary Glitter
Don't Swerve - Hit Da Fucker!

Rumours just in seem to suggest that George Michael, the former Wham! singer and alleged out of control weed gardener has been sentenced by the Court Of Star Chamber to an additional ten years on top of his existing sentence.

After rumours (unfounded as of yet) suggested that he wasn't really all that stoned when he crashed his 4x4 into a branch of Snappy Snaps in Hampstead (Wham!) but that he had swerved to avoid hitting passing pedestrian, Gary Glitter, the notorious child-violinist, who had allegedly popped out early for some milk for a friend's Co-Co Pops.

In defence of Mr Michael, a newspaper vendor from Hampstead, one John Du Wotjohn complained that the 'Wake Me Up Before You Go Go' star had exercised extreme humanitarianism by swerving to avoid hitting the 'Do You Wanna Be In My Gang?' (No thanks) singer as he crossed the street. And not just that - but he took the rap too, in order to protect the silver suited bald headed nonce from further pain.

But the Court Of Star Chamber didn't see it that way. Allegedly.

Sentencing George Michael to a further ten years, in absentia, Judge Madge Noncehanger commented:

"He should never have swerved to avoid hitting Gary Glitter. That's just an abuse of humanitarianism, and for this reason, I give the Hampstead Heath cottage dweller a further ten years. There can never be an adequate excuse for not mowing Gary Glitter down in a 4x4. He's brought this on himself has that George Michael - had he punted Glitter through the shop window, and smashed him into the photocopier, I'd probably be giving him a pardon now. But as it stands, it's another ten years in Pentonville. There's no excuse for anybody swerving to avoid Gary Glitter in a big fuck off 4x4."

It's probably a complete fabrication, but it's what Skoob News heard.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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