Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 11 September 2010

image for Coronation Street Veterans To Release Nude Charity Calendar?
Bleurgh! Der Der Der Der Der...

The Manchester rumour-mill has been working overtime over the last few days, and is now buzzing with the news that a group of veteran Coronation Street actresses are to pose nude for a series of charity calendar shots.

Word in town has it that the shots will be tastefully composed, and will not be revealing nips or quiffs.

Amongst those the rumours are circulating about, it seems remotely possible that Rovers barmaid Betty Turpin will feature, with a dish of hotpot and two slices of pickled beetroot to protect her modesty.

Rita from the Kabin is also expected to make an appearance, with a copy of People's Friend and two packets of Embassy cigs.

Gail McIntyre was reportedly considering it, but is apparently not happy about being covered in a bin liner.

Audrey Roberts is expected to appear provocatively posed behind a hair drier and a set of curling tongs.

Hayley Cropper will be covered by two fried eggs and a bacon roll, whilst other possible inclusions number amongst them, Janice Battersby, Dierdre Barlow, Emily Bishop, Sally Webster, Liz McDonald, her off the canal barge who Ken Barlow was knocking off and that Irish woman who played Liam's mam.

Roy Cropper and Jack Duckworth are said to be behind a similar campaign to launch a male veterans equivalent.

Record breaking sales are not being eagerly anticipated.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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