Written by Skoob1999
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Friday, 10 September 2010

image for JLS Condom Puncture Scare Rumours Hit The Net
Arthur Johnny Pictured Last Night. Unpricked.

It had to happen. No sooner did boy band JLS promote safe sex by launching a brand of condoms emblazoned with their images, than internet rumours surfaced claiming that the condoms weren't reliably protective.

Because they might have been punctured by an embittered condom factory worker.

The malicious internet rumours are believed to have surfaced last night, but the manufacturers were quick to rubbish the unsubstantiated rumours, saying that there was no basis whatsoever in allegations that the condoms may actually be faulty.

Skoob Entertainment News supremo, Buffty Ginslinger, speaking from a skip somewhere in central London and probably spattered in his own vomit, told us:

"First I've heard of it. I very much doubt that it's true. JLS actually play no part in the manufacturing process. This unfounded rumour reminds me of an old joke about the definition of revenge being a bastard let loose with a hatpin in a condom factory. Personally, I don't think there's a grain of truth in these rumours. Have you got a light dear boy? Is it nearly opening time? Christ, my head hurts - I could do with a livener."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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