Written by anthonyrosania

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Topics: snooki

Thursday, 9 September 2010

image for Douchebag Judge Insults Famous Actress Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi At Trial

"You're just a wannabe LiLo," Judge tells Jersey Shore's Snooki as she's fined $500 for disturbing others on the beach.

Justice was perverted today as a Seaside Heights Municipal Court Judge fined Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi $500 and ordered her to perform two days of community service after she pled guilty to disturbing others on the Seaside Heights beach in July.

"Meeting out a sentence that severe was one thing," chimed in porcine attorney H. Nefton Alt, who is the worst criiminal defense attorney in history. "But insulting her in open court was ridiculous and obscene."

"You, going through life rude, profane, obnoxious and self-indulgent, that's not the way you want to live your life," the judge told her during the sentencing. He was later seen selling autographed copies of the transcript of his sentencing speech for $25.00 out of the trunk of his car.


"I don't know if your antics were scripted, but if so, you need to decide if it was worth trading your dignity for a paycheck," he continued, while handing out his headshot to the paparazzi. "Hopefully this incident will impress upon you that there are consequences to your actions."

Did You Know?

Polizzi Tweeted right after her court appearance? She wrote, "Ah (no comma) never again! So scary. thank (no capital 'T' you judge for understnding (sic), Im (no apostrophe) very thankful for that! Whew...now I can breath (sic)!"

"What a f--king tool," said Pollizi, after the sentence was handed down. "Like, he totally f--king tried to f--king cash in on my f--king fame. I f--king had to f--king work f--king hard to f--king get to this f--king point in my f--king life. F--k, f--k, f--kity-f--k f--k."

The judge gave her credit for one day of community service that she spent caring for abused and neglected animals at Popcorn Park Zoo in Lacey Township on Sunday.

"It was f--king cool," said Polizzi. "Plus, since the visitors to the f--king zoo thought I was an orangutan, they threw f--king popcorn at me. Free f--king meal, bitches!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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