Written by Willow
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Thursday, 9 September 2010

Robert Pattisnon has hit back at recent gossip column claims that he is Kristen Stewarts "slave".

"Its just simply not true," , he said in a recent interview over a beer and cigarette in a bar in Texas.

"It is true, that I sometimes run errands for her whilst I'm out and about and she is working. Kristen is always grateful for me running her errands, and I'll almost do anything for my 'In' and 'Out' burger meal treat that she buys me in return. "

When it was commented that it had been alleged that Kristen places her dogs on a higher priority than him, he looked slightly worried.

"I have to admit, I did see her to-do list the other day pinned to the fridge door and, dog walking was a few listed several items higher, than the item starting with 'oh yeah - text that Robert guy, - fetch dinner'."

When it was commented that the burgers could be termed as scooby snacks, he laughed, stoped chewing his nails and retorted, "Nah, that what's she gives Taylor when he does her errands".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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