Written by Stevey G.
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 6 September 2010

image for Jennifer Thompson and Sarah Purnell to make Sex Movie?
'OK girls get them off and..........action!'

Erstwhile girlfriend of Ashley Cole and lap-dancer, Sarah Purnell and Bolton prostitute, Jennifer Thompson who boasts Wayne Rooney amongst her clients, have announced plans to star jointly in a sex film.

'It seems the right time for both of us', said 'Juicy Jeni' Thompson earlier today. 'I am very much in the public eye at the moment, after my revelations of my relationship with Wayne (Rooney) and whilst Sarah and Ashley are currently 'on a break', I'm sure that it won't be long before he's back in her affections and her knickers'.

'We did think about doing a fitness dvd', said Purnell. 'But then thought we'd stick with what we do best'.

The film is entitled 'Footballers' Whores' and unsurprisingly is based on the lives of premiership footballers.

'We feel that we can really capitalise on our celebrity status', said Thompson. 'This film could see us make the big-time. Newspapers, magazines, TV, film, they'll all be after us and all for being shagged senseless'.

The film is being made in complete secrecy, but it is rumoured that the two actresses are involved in a steamy lesbian romp and at one point Purnell has sex with the entire home and away teams in a post-match celebration.

'Well it's nothing that I haven't done before', says Purnell, with a hint of pride.

Not that the film will test the girls' acting talents.

'There's not much dialogue', admits Thompson. 'Even the panting and groaning is recorded and dubbed in afterwards. Mine are provided by another actress as apparently I orgasm with a Bolton accent'.

The girls refuse to be drawn as to whether there are any famous faces in the film, although Wayne Rooney is rumoured to be making a fleeting appearance for 30 seconds, in which time he has full on sex with Thompson, including foreplay and a post-coital cigarette.

The only disagreement, it seems, is which of the girls is to get top-billing. Thompson believes that it should be her as she is a fully-fledged sex worker, whilst Purnell is merely a lap-dancer.

It's obviously not the first time they've had to decide who gets to go on top!

Make Stevey G.'s day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.



Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.




Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 3?

1 20 16 6
55 readers are online right now!

Go to top