In the aftermath of the sex allegations surrounding Wayne Rooney and following a tip-off, police have swooped on the Rooney's £4.5 million Cheshire mansion, allegedly confiscating a hoard of pornographic material.
The material is said to include, amongst others, pictures of elderly women engaging in a variety of sex acts.
Some images, originally thought to be of animals having sex, were later discovered to be photographs of Wayne Rooney himself.
Police are currently reviewing the material, including images downloaded onto Wayne's computer, in order to establish whether any of the material is actually 'indecent'.
A friend of the Rooney's expressed his shock and surprise at this disturbing turn of events. 'I'm really shocked', he said, 'I didn't know Wayne could use a computer, let alone download pornography.'
The haul of material, which was removed by police in 17 dustbin liners, reputably includes videos of Wayne Rooney having sex with a variety of local prostitutes. A reliable source suggests that one video depicts a submissive Rooney, clad in stockings and suspenders, taking it up the arse from an elderly prostitute sporting a stap-on dildo, and wearing a Manchester United shirt and an Alex Ferguson mask.
Police also allegedly discovered three middle-aged female prostitutes in the cellar who claimed they had been kept there since 2007 and had been regularly forced to perform sex acts for Wayne's pleasure.
When confronted by reporters, Rooney seemed unrepentant.
'I can't see what all the fuss is about', he said 'Boys will be boys.'
Apparantly this is normal behaviour if you're a Premiership fooballer!