Written by Charpa93
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Sunday, 5 September 2010

image for Ashton Kutcher Claims He is No Jesse James
Ashton Kutcher is None of the Above

Ashton Kutcher is going after a well-known tabloid paper for reporting that he was seen in a restaurant kissing another woman. Kutcher, according to Kutcher, is happily married to Demi Lovato, uhm Moore.

But photos show otherwise. Or so it seems. Kutcher is fighting back telling his fans he has an alibi. "I was home giving Demi a sponge bath when I was supposedly kissing another woman."

Kutcher claims he is no Jesse James. "Sure, I'm young, I'm cute, I have been known to sport facial hair similar to that worn by Jesse James, but I am no Jesse James, let me make that perfectly clear."

"Besides," says Kutcher, "why would my wife, Demi, have anything to do with Jesse James? It's preposterous to even think that."

Demi Moore backed her husband up on that. "Yes, I can tell you first hand, Ashton is no Jesse James." When pressed for further information, Moore simply said "let's just leave well enough alone, shall we? I'm still trying to explain my Snoop Dog dance to Ashton."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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