Written by Jalapenoman
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Sunday, 5 September 2010

image for Chris Rock and Adam Sandler To Remake "Blazing Saddles"
I wonder who'll play Gabby Johnson in this one?

Chris Rock and Adam Sandler have announced that they will produce and star in a remake of the classic Mel Brook's western "Blazing Saddles." Rock will play the role of Sheriff Bart, made famous by Cleavon Little. Sandler will play the role of Deputy Jim, originally played by Gene Wilder.

Sandler and Wilder are in negotiations to cast the other roles in the film. Lindsay Lohan has announced that she wants to play the part of Lili Von Schtupp so that she can "practice my role with a black man, since I'm going to do that stuff a bunch when I play Linda Lovelace on screen."

Rock and Sandler also remade The Longest Yard. When asked if this movie would be as bad as their previous remake, Sandler made funny noises for about thirty seconds and then opened and closed his mouth in amusing ways. When asked the same question, Rock yelled and screamed enough obsenities that he proved this production will be rated R.

When asked if they would be working from the original script or if they were writing a new one, both found the idea to be novel. "If we use the same f-ing script as the first one, then we don't have to pay a new f-ing writer," said Rock. "But I wanna add new s--- and make my character funnier," said Sandler.

In the end, they decided to work from the original script and add in their own stuff, giving themselves writing credit and pay.

Photography is set to begin the day after 84 year old Mel Brooks dies because "I've got this idea to film him rolling over in his grave when we make the chuckwagon farting scene into a prelude to Brokeback Mountain," said Sandler.

The scheduled release date is ten months after the death of Brooks, whenever that might be.

On a related note, Barney Frank has volunteered to play the Slim Pickens character in the film if he is permitted to be in the revised chuckwagon scene.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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