HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Lindsay Lohan was sitting in her mansion high in the Hollywood Hills talking about the fantastic time she had filming the superhero satire/parody Machete.
She said that it was great to get to work with such established and well-respected actors such as Robert DeNiro, Steven Seagal, Jessica Alba, Cheech Marin, and Don Johnson.
Lohan was asked what she thought about the star of the movie Mr. Machete himself, Danny "The Face" Trejo.
Lindsay turned red and said that she had never enjoyed working with a male actor more than she had with Danny. She said that their erotically sexy scenes together truly made her realize that she isn't quite the lesbian that she thinks she is.
She said that the scene in the swimming pool where her and Danny and her mother are all swimming together topless got her so excited she had to tell the director that she needed to take a ten minute cigarette break.
LiLo said that she really had to go into her trailer and take a cold shower.
Trejo was asked how he liked working with Lindsay Lohan. He grinned, winked, and said that the chick has got some pretty damn good looking knockers on her. He then added that he thinks he may just have convinced her to forget about the split tails (females) and cross over to gettin' it on with dudes.
Danny, who has one of the most recognizable faces in Hollywood, said that one evening after they had finished the days shooting, he went over to Lindsay's trailer and had some drinks. He said that he asked her if he could count her beautiful freckles.
She told him to please do. He said that he counted 7,319. The two are planning on taking a vacation to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, where they will discuss making the sequel Machete Numero Two as well as spending quite a bit of time playing hide the chorizo (hide the salami).
SIDENOTE: Lindsay's mom and dad are both thrilled that Danny Trejo may have triggered something in their daughter that will make her leave her unstable world of lesbianism and return to the more solid world of straight, unadulterated, and unbridled sex with men.