The singles chart has been forced to amend its rules and introduce fillers into its landmark mainstream pop chart after bowing to pressure from Simon Cowell and allowing songs of just 30 seconds to qualify for chart releases.
Cowell, creator of shows such as the X-Factor has been forced to develop extra-short songs for his acts after being found out in the voice-breaking "Auto-Tune-Gate" scandal last month, revealing hideous voices and untuned acts which we are being more fequently exposed to in the form of Hampshire based Same Difference and Susan Boyle.
Mr Cowell was unavailable for comment today when we called at his penthouse flat in Boyle's Scottish home, however when he had managed to lower his waistband to an appropriate level he made this comment through his agent:
"We regret that we have to ask for these changes which are because when I have previously made remark at a singers poor judgement of whether they can sing, they really couldn't and now we have to release shorter and shorter songs in the hope that the music buying public do not realise so readily."
Entry qualification rules have meant that "some aspects of the Sunday Afternoon chart rundown" have had to be changed.