Written by matthatt
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Thursday, 2 September 2010

image for Stephen Hawking to compete on Robot Wars and Ultimate Fighter
Well this car is automatic, it's systematic, it's hydromatic Why it's greased lightnin'!

In the beginning there was God, and then, there wasn't, because Stephen Hawking came, he saw, he kicked his arse! And then he said "God did not create the universe; the laws of physics were behind the Big Bang."

Its exactly that kind of trash talk that the mad professor brings in to the ring, when he is about to bust someone's chops, and he is about deliver another "Big Bang" on Robot Wars, in his sooped up, super dooper, rad road warrior wheel chair, hell yea!

Watching the mechanics running around his multi billion dollar carriage, brings to mind that scene from Greece where John Travolta is waxing lyrical about his own hot rod, Greased Lightening, a wella wella wella tell me more, tell me more.

During the design and engineering of the new super chair, all manner of attachments have been thought up for the whacky racers chariot that Hawk' the slayer has been seen in, speeding down the Queens highway looking like a streak of lightening.

For the Robot Wars bout, he has a flame thrower, angle grinder and mini surface to air missiles to take out his robotic opponents, as well as a small chiller compartment on the arm for keeping his sandwiches cool.

His designers have also come up with a range of prosthetic limbs for tackling human combatants when he takes to the cage in the mixed martial arts extravaganza, The Ultimate Fighter.

No expense has been spared in creating a dream come true, pimped up super ride, unfortunately he still sounds like a "Speak and Spell" from Texas Instruments.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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