Written by Willow
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Thursday, 2 September 2010

Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and shadow Tom Sturridge , have moved out of their luxury rented pad in Stone Valley Bel-Air.

A source in the estate agents office said they liked the house but felt the need to move somewhere larger and more in line with Pattinson's alleged genetic heritage, with Valad the impaler. The agents said they'd fixed the threesome up with a secluded castle, where there were loads of headboards to be broken.

The agent also mentioned that on sale tomorrow, after the trio had settled in, would be a press set which includes maps to the new location, and internal photographs of the new lovenest, and floor plan.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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