Written by Stevey G.
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Thursday, 2 September 2010

image for Jamie Oliver does 'Cooking for Poor People'
Rats: Vermin or Dinner for Two ??

Celebrity Chef and Restaurateur, Jamie Oliver MBE, has announced the launch of a new series of cookery books aimed at the less privileged in society. The snappily titled 'Jamie Oliver: Cooking for Poor People' demonstrates that you can achieve interesting, tasty and nutritional meals, without necessarily having to spend a fortune on quality ingredients.

'We're talking pukka grub', said an excited Oliver at his press launch earlier today. 'Not everyone can afford to eat at top-notch restaurants or buy top quality ingredients, but with this series of cook books they can experience home-cooked food on a budget', he continued.

With the series of books including titles such as 'Cooking with Scraps', 'Cooking with Bugs' and 'Cooking with Vermin', Oliver is hoping to dramatically reduce the average family's weekly food bill.

'I want us to return to the hunter-gatherer philosophy', he went on.'Let's face it, shopping can be really boring, but rummaging through a neighbour's dustbin looking for scraps can be a real thrill!'

'What's more', he continued,'bugs can be really nutritious and they're free, as are lots of things in our gardens such as squirrels, hedgehogs and the like. It's all about re-education. People should regard those rats under their garden shed not as an infestation, but an extension of their larder!'

Priced at £24.99 for the set, many have argued that this is too expensive, given the target market are supposedly people struggling on the bread-line.

'That's the best bit', said an animated Oliver. The Government have pre-ordered 3 million copies at the full retail price, paid for by the tax-payer and will be distributing them free to people claiming benefits or tax-credits....Cushty!!'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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