Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 1 September 2010

image for Ke$ha Wants To Date Miley Cyrus' Ex-Boyfriend Liam Hem$worth
This is some of the silver glitter that Ke$ha uses all around her belly button.

ALHAMBRA, California - Ke$ha had gone up to Alhambra to pay a visit to The Glittering Glitter Shoppe where she purchases most of her performing glitter.

The salesgirl immediately recognized her because of the two pounds of glitter she had from her forehead to her chin, down to her cleavage, down to her belly button, and stopping at her bikini line.

The young girl, who said her name was Nancy Beth Rainbush, told Ke$ha that she is one of her biggest fans. She then added that she has also met Adam Lambert who also shops in the same store for his performing glitter.

She added that Lady Gaga stopped by last Tuesday to purchase some specially made vaginal glitter, which will not cause her vagina to get infected like the cheap glitter she bought two months ago from Ling Ping's Glitter Hut in Monrovia had done.

Nancy Beth said that Lady G told her that it got so bad that she could hardly perform her dance routine where during a medley of six of her biggest hits she is constantly grabbing at her crotch like professional baseball players, rap artists, and plumbers do.

Ke$ha ended up buying $315 worth of waterproof glitter, sweatproof glitter, and beerproof glitter. Nancy Beth asked her if she had any interesting rumors or gossip to tell her.

Ke$ha smiled and whispered that she did. She then noted that she is hoping to date Miley Cyrus ex-boyfriend Liam Hem$worth. Nancy asked cause he's cute and all. And Ke$ha replied, "Yeah that and because he like me also uses the $ sign in the place of the S in his name."

In other news. Sarah Palin wants it known that the dumb, stupid rumor that was started by Geraldo Rivera that Glenn Beck stole a pair of her panties and put them on eBay is totally false. Larry King reportedly noted on his show that Beck swore to him that he did steal a pair of Sarah's undies and he has hidden them in the basement of his mom's house and he plans to sell them to George Hamilton who reportedly has a collection of 8,000 plus panties.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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