Written by Shirley Knott
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 3 September 2005

image for Press summit held to create Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie media nickname
Speculation surrounds the Jolie Pitt liaison

Shirley Knott: HOLLYWOOD - As the media continues struggling to find an appropriate nickname for the Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston split, the entrance of Angelina Jolie on the fringe of the failed Pitt marriage is wreaking extra nickname havoc for journalists around the globe.

To avoid confusion and unite the press in their efforts to reduce the cumbersome "Brad and Angelina" references in breaking stories, world-renowned writer and columnist Liz Smith has taken it upon herself to organize a special press summit in Los Angeles in hopes a decision may be reached for an apt Pitt and Jolie "couple moniker."

Offered by a Spokesman-Review reporter in recent speculation of the couple's activities was a reference to "Bradgelina" as an apt nickname for the alleged Pitt and Jolie romance. However, many journalists fear that Bradgelina too closely resembles the name of a third world country therefore they continue to refer willy-nilly to the famous "couple" via a plethora of confusing titles. Smith and her colleagues hope the nickname matter will soon be resolved.

After a frantic morning session on the first day of the nickname summit, attendees broke for lunch at the popular Los Angeles bistro, Sosueme II. To the delight of eatery patrons, both Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were spotted dining in the restaurant albeit at separate tables located on opposite sides of the main room. When a journalist from the National Enquirer rose to approach Jolie, Liz Smith tripped him in the aisle and sternly warned him against any contact with the pair.

"You are here on a naming mission not a faming mission," Smith allegedly told him. The humiliated reporter returned quickly to his seat.

Upon returning to the nickname summit, Smith led journalists through a name suggestion exercise and from all the entries, the top three were chosen by a panel for a ballot vote. They are as follows:

Smithgate - Suggested by many, this nickname is representative of the film, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, that allegedly introduced romance between Pitt and Jolie

Jolipitt - [pronounced joe LIP it] - Highlights Jolie's penchant for pouty lip poses

Bradang - [pronounced brah DANG] Includes innocuous explicative uttered by many lesbian celebrities when they heard Jolie was once again dating a man

No one at the summit knows what the chosen nickname will prove to be but the majority of journalists expressed relief that "at least something is being done to give us a catchy reference for the pair."

Make Shirley Knott's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 5?

7 25 13 15
59 readers are online right now!

Go to top