Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Movies, sick

Sunday, 29 August 2010

image for So Called 'Arse To Mouth Movie,' 'The Human Centipede' Branded SICK SICK SICK!
Pass The Sick Bag Nellie!

Newly released movie, The Human Centipede, directed by some off the wall Dutch geezer named Six, has been branded "SICK SICK SICK!" by members of the Gosport Ladies Sewing Circle.

"It's just SICK SICK SICK!" fumed Nellie Wainwright of Rowner. "In fact it's so SICK SICK SICK! that I can barely bring myself to speak about it."

The movie, which features a demented German surgeon who stitches people's arses to other people's mouths, and cuts their legs off at the knees in a bid to create a 'human centipede' premiered in London this week, and was roundly condemned - even among hardened horror enthusiasts - for being "SICK SICK SICK!"

"I don't know how they ever dreamt this one up," Elsie Ollerenshaw gasped. "Nobody goes arse to mouth these days, what with the aids and that. People know that. And a filmic interpretation of a mad surgeon stitching people's mouths to other people's arses is just SICK SICK SICK!"

Apparently moreso it seems when the Japanese are involved.

As in this case they are. Or at least one is.

The Dutch director, the Six fellow said that he had a few regrets, but added that none of them had anything to do with the movie.

"I have no problem with the idea of people's mouths being stitched to other people's arse holes," he said. "And if anybody does, it's their problem. What I regret is jumping off a bridge as a youth in Amsterdam into a shallow canal and breaking my ankle on a partially submerged bicycle."

"That film is SICK SICK SICK!" repeated Nellie Wainwright of Gosport Ladies Sewing Circle. "Stitching people's mouths to other people's arse holes...SICK SICK SICK! Is there a sequel coming out?"

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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