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Saturday, 28 August 2010

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Kristen Stewart has admitted that she and Robert Pattison have discussed what their baby would look like and the fact that it would have the blood line of Vlad The Impaler or Dracula in it's system.

"Blood is indeed the word", Stewart told reporters including our own Dan Hillyard. "The tour of Dracula's property now in Romania and the stories about him that we heard were awful. The man hardly seemed human."

What does that have to do with Pattinson all these years later?

"I'm not sure. That's what we wanted to talk out", stated Kristen, a worried look on her face.

Meanwhile Pattinson replied that it was sort of like finding your new mate was the great grandson of Hitler or grandfather was Charles Manson. I can understand how she feels."

"One thing I know for sure", stated Stewart. "These vampire romance books and movies for the most part, aren't showing how evil some people can be, especially so-called vampires. This Vlad was a total monster, even worse than the Dracula in the movies."

Asked if he was very concerned about all this, Pattinson answered, "Certainly, but I'm no Dracula...and I'm hoping a little necking will help Kristen to know this."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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