Big Brother, Big Brother The Ultimate - it all makes very little difference to Skoob Entertainment News showbiz correspondent Buffty Ginslinger, who has slammed the show from its inception as; "So shit, it's unbelievable."
Filing his latest report from "a cardboard box under an overpass somewhere south of the river" Buffty slammed Big Brother yet again for being a complete waste of time, and a wasted opportunity to conduct potentially valuable psychological research.
"It's all tosh and fiddlesticks," he wrote. "Merely a rag-tag band of extroverted twerps looking for their 15 minutes of fame and boring the arses off of decent hard-working tax payers in the hope of getting their pictures posted on page 27 of some obscure tabloid rag as they stumble out of various nightclubs at five am."
One case in point is Chantelle, the 'celebrity' who wasn't really a 'celebrity' becoming a C list 'celebrity' before returning to oblivion befor being re-re-born as a 'celebrity' again, but with bigger, Jordanesque breasts.
"Frankly, it's a load of old shit," Ginslinger wrote. "In fact calling it shit doesn't really do justice to shit. Because there is good shit and there is bad shit but this shit is so low on the scale of shit that it has become sub-shit."
However, Ginslingers controversial view is not shared by all. BB fan Holly Golightly claimed that Ginslinger was a bitter, drunken hack who hasn't got a clue what he's talking about.
"I love BB," Miss Golightly said. "I eat chocolate and send out for pizza and shakes when it's on. If I have to take a bathroom break, I get it up on the laptop and take it in there with me, so that I don't miss anything."
It would appear though, that in general, BB fans are a dying breed. Despite desperate hype by the tabloids and internet saturation coverage, a C4 spokesman said that the ratings figures were:
"Shit. Like the show. Just about sums it up really."
He sighed wistfully.
More as we get it.