Cheryl Cole is set to add another string to her impressive bow as she enters the government as Minister for Celebrity.
A spokesperson for the government said: "We decided to create the Ministry for Celebrity as we realised that we needed a department which could connect with ordinary voters. For too long we have been banging on about the deficit and the need for a mature fiscal macroeconomic policy that is aligned to the current extraordinary global financial climate. But we now see that all people care about is Big Brother, Jordan and X Factor"
Cheryl Cole will spend the majority of her time devising ways to foster and develop celebrity in a way which produces absolutely nothing of any value - but which sells magazines and advertising space.
The government has already started to capitalise on this move - calling itself the Cole-ition