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Thursday, 26 August 2010

image for Axed Shirlena To Return To X-Factor Singing 'Crazy For You'?
Crazy For You

Axed X-Factor contestant Shirlena Johnson 30, should be allowed to return to the show singing something appropriately wacky, such as 'Crazy For You' by Madonna, or 'Crazy' by Patsy Chuppatti.

So says Skoob News showbiz correspondent, Buffty Ginslinger, speaking from a skip in central London this morning as he nursed a monumental hangover.

Shirlena made it through to boot camp after wowing the judges with her version of Duffy's 'Mercy' - which she performed wearing camel-toe revealing leopardskin print cut-offs that looked tight enough to restrict blood flow to the ankles and feet.

Mum of one, Shirley, was then axed, after it was revealed that she was being treated for mental health issues, and was unlikely to be able to cope with the rigours of stardom.

"They should give crazy people a chance," a leading psychiatrist said. "Just because she's a little crazy doesn't mean that she can't hack it. The world is full of crazy people in top jobs, with most of the craziest ones in the music industry. Closely followed by politics."

"Exactly!" Buffty Ginslinger said from the skip. "The girl would make enough to retire on right now, if she recorded 'Crazy' or 'Crazy For You' by Madonna. The great unwashed of the British public lap up shit like that. Especially if it's a tad eccentric."

Ginslinger then slid gracefully back into his skip and started snoring again.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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