HOLLYWOOD - America's Got Talent Host Nick "The Yardstick" Cannon said that the competition is really heating up.
The lucky man who is married to the extremely talented and sexy Mariah Carey said that two of the top acts are Prince Poppycock (PP) and the little ballroom dancers Anna and Patryk.
Lately there has been widespread speculation that Anna and Patryk are really 30-year-old midgets who are passing themselves off as young children
Cannon said that the shows producers in an effort to put those vicious rumors to rest requested that the parents present their birth certificates.
Nick held up the copies of each birth certificate and he had the cameraman film them. Nick then said that the two birth certificates are legitimate and he told the viewing audience at home and in the studio that none of the two kids were born in Hawaii or Kenya.
After the young couple finished dancing to Lady Gaga's "Paparazzi" Judge Sharon Osbourne beamed with pride and said that the two youngsters were so darn good that she wanted to adopt them and take them home to her husband rock and roll icon Ozzie Osbourne.
Howie Mandel said that they reminded him of Derek Hough and his British girlfriend Cheryl Cole. And Piers Morgan said that even Dancing With The Stars "Bad Boy of The Ballroom" Maksim Chmerkovskiy and his ex-future wife Karina Smirnoff would have a hard time keeping up with the two little dancing firecrackers.
Prince Poppycock took the stage and it looked like something that Elton John would have arranged. There were all kinds of elaborate decorations, including stage streamers, ravishing ribbons, frilly trinkets, ornamental boas, decorative feathers, bouncing balloons, swishing gays, festooned baubles, condescending confetti, lactating lesbianites, and pink and blue colored doves.
Prince Poppycock sang "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen. When the circus, ah performance was over, Howie Mandel commented that it looked like just another typical Saturday night at Adam Lambert's house.
Sharon Osbourne said that he looked like Lady Gaga from the crotch and groin regions and Piers Morgan said that he had just succeeded in upstaging gay icons Cher, Bette Midler, Lady Gaga, and Clay Aiken combined.
SIDENOTE: It is being reported in The London Daily Hand Held Mirror Newspaper that Sir Elton John, aka Lady Elton John, called up Oprah Winfrey and told her that he would like to record a CD with Prince Poppycock. Elton laughed and said that he already has the title picked out, Songs By The British Queen and The American Prince.