Jail time that is. Michael, real name Georgios Panayiotou, appeared amid heavy security at the magistrates' court after having been told that the next time he comes back, could mean for keeps, and the pop star couldn't be more delighted.
'I just need to have a little faith that the judge will not listen without prejudice and incarcerate me.' He continued in a careful whisper, so the judge wouldn't hear 'I have been trying this for a while, I don't want their freedom, but don't want to make it appear completely obvious that I'm trying to get banged up'
'There isn't much going on for me out here and I like rough men in toilets so I thought, I know, JAIL!, genius, I would have a whole penitentiary of bitches for my fast love and penal servitude.'
The 47-year-old was found slumped over the wheel of his Range Rover at 4am. When police woke him he said: "I got disoriented and lost. I turned a different corner."
Michael admitted smoking a "small" quantity of cannabis the previous evening and said he also took a newly-prescribed sleeping pill which makes him fall asleep without warning, he then asked the assembled reporters 'If it happens while you are interviewing me, could you wake me up before you leave? Thanks'