Written by Greg F. O'Fay
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Topics: eBay, Magic

Wednesday, 27 April 2005

Andrew Lloyd Webber has worked his magic once again
and created a new smash hit musical, eBay: The
Musical. The new production is to use an amalgamation
of old Webber hits, including, Evita, Cats and The
Phantom of the Opera. The basis of the musical is
built around the apparent worldwide addiction of the
auction internet site eBay. The cast are portraying a
group of travellers that have been without an internet
connection for seven days. They stumble across a
hotspot and realise that their beloved eBay is only
but a click away. As the story unravels, it shows a
fierce rivalry between the internet bidders to see who
can win ( buy ) the cheapest goods from the most
obscure places in the world. The finale is a race to
get home as quickly as possible, to make sure the
intrepid travelling bidders get to their post box
before their respective spouses realise that they have
been on Ebay, even while they were on vacation.

The musical will be sung by an all star cast of former
Broadway stars that have worked on previous hits
composed by Mr. Webber. It is thought that Glen Close
(Sunset Blvd), Donny Osmond (Joseph & His Amazing
Techicolored Dreamcoat) and Michael Crawford (The
Phantom) will be amongst the line up. A close friend
to Madonna said "Madonna is thrilled at the prospect
of opening the show, with a heart rendering rendition
of Don't cry for meee eBay, the truth is I never left
you." Other classic numbers will include Michael
Crawford blasting out the classic Music of The Night,
with the haunting verse "Turn your face away, from the
careless light of day! Turn your thoughts away from
cold, unfeeling nights. And listen to the music of
eBay."

The audience will be able to win ( buy ) tickets in
true Ebay fashion. An internet auction will be set up.
Winning bidders will be given non-transferable tickets
to that evening's show. Once there every person of the
audience will be loaned a laptop. They will be able to
bid and then dictate what song is sung and when. Any
person caught doing last second bidding will be
ejected from the building.

Our theatrical reporter, Billy Jones, traveled from
Deepcut to London via Glasgow, said of the new show
"the songs were great, pity I couldn't see a damn
thing." "has anyone seen my Labrador "

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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