Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Kate Gosselin

Wednesday, 25 August 2010

image for Kate Gosselin Reveals Her Secret Desire: She Wants A Man To Boss Her Around
Kate Gosselin still showing off her $7,000 hair extensions.

READING, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin had just returned to her home after dropping off her eight kids at school which was filmed for an upcoming episode of Kate Plus 8.

She was sitting in her living room watching a couple on one of the soap operas. Suddenly Kate blurted out, "That's what I want right there."

Her maid, Nonnie, asked what she meant by that. And Kate, kicked off her high heels and said that she wanted to be with a man who can take charge and actually boss her around and tell her what to do.

Mrs. Gosselin said that she is tired of always assuming the male domineering role. She blames that on her Korean ex-husband Jon. She said that when they were still together she expected him to call her King Kate and she referred to him as Subject Jon.

And Kate said that it worked out great. But now that she has been divorced close to one year, she realizes that it is not exactly what she wants.

Kate says that she is tired of having to always grab her crotch area like baseball players do. She said she has had her fill of putting in plumbing pipes, electrical wiring, and digging the hole for the swimming pool.

Gosselin said that her experience on Dancing With The Stars earlier this year proved to her that men still feel intimated by her. She said that her professional dance partner Tony Dovolani told her that he did not feel right having to tell her what to do.

She told Tony that it was okay and she wanted him to be firm with her. Tony said that he just could not do it. Kate became angry and from that point on she did not improve and in fact got lousier and lousier until she was finally eliminated.

Kate has confided to her maid, Nonnie that she would love to have a man like her personal bodyguard Steve Neild. Nonnie reminds her that he is married. Kate smiles and then points out that she knows that Steve really and truly likes her a lot because on several occasions she has caught him staring at her hooters, her butt, and her groin area.

Nonnie, who is 36, told Kate that Steve does the same thing with her.

Kate became furious and told Nonnie that she was lying because Steve has told her in complete confidence that if he was not married to his wife, he would want to be married to her (Kate).

Nonnie, who looks a lot like Keira Knightley, except with humongous hooters, told Kate that Steve had said the same thing to her just a few days ago as the two sat outside grilling hot dogs.

SIDENOTE: Kate Gosselin is truly one of the most insecure women on television. Her next book should be titled, I'm Not Really Insecure - I'm Just Unassertive, Unassuming, and Unsure.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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