The X Factor has become embroiled in a new "auto-tune" row after fans accused editors of using technology to make their cars go faster and make some contestants sound less talentless.
Simon Cowling who drives a very fast car said "all I did was get quickfit to give Cheryl Cole the once over, as she was sounding a bit ropey when I started her up the other night"
Cheryl Cole said "brrum brum bbrrrrrrum BEEP BEEP"
Danni Mogwai-Gnu, who is currently taking a break from judging the X factor to have her overhead gasclap resealed following a leaky incident whilst trying a bit too hard to be noticed, is having her seat warmed by Gerri Halliwell, who used to be a nice little runner, but has had too many owners and whose log book looks like the visitors signing in book at the Diana Memorial, will be mostly talking incessantly about herself, despite the fact that the show is about other people with more talent.
Oh and some people died somewhere in the world.