What was displayed at Harrold's Casino in Atlantic City as the penis of Adolf Hitler has been found to be a fraud, according to the scientists that studied it for one day.
"We thought it would take us some time to get Hitler's DNA and prove that this penis was his or a member, excuse the pun, of his family", stated Dr. Charles Hanson, "but it only took us a few hours to see that it was that of a squirrel."
A spokesman for Harrolds's Casino told us that they were prepared for a long study after paying nearly $30,000 for the penis and having it on display for two years. "Now it turns out that we paid $30,000 for a squirrel's dick."
A Russian man had sold the penis that his father had supposedly taken off Hitler's body in World War II, but after that the sales talk gets pretty well mixed up as the penis was sold and resold until the casino had purchased it two years ago.
Back to the casino spokesman, he told us that they should have left well enough alone but that more and more people were "beginning to say the squirrel penis was fake. I mean, that the penis was fake. It's not a fake squirrel penis but an authentic squirrel's penis, a well-endowed squirrel I would say."
What will the Casino do now?
The spokesman stated, "I think we should put it back on display, even though it will cause people who have had their pictures taken with 'Hitler's Penis' to be upset.
Maybe we could put up a sign: "Have your Photo taken along with The World's Most Expensive Squirrel's Dick!"