Written by shea lo
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Saturday, 21 August 2010

image for Proud zombie Pa Elvis Presley walks freaky Lisa down the aisle as she renews vows with even freakier zombie Michael Jackson. She tells reporters: "This time I will take away his virginity"

It was the zombie wedding of the year. Proud Pa zombie Elvis Presley dug himself out just in time to walk freaky daughter Lisa down the aisle. The event? Lisa was renewing her vows with moon-walking zombie husband Michael Jackson who had earlier been revived with a triple shot of Diprivan.

The bride and groom wore matching patch-on plaster noses held together by crazy glue as guests pelted them with peanut butter-praline coated popcorn.

Fresh from an All-you-can-eat breakfast at Lenny-Benny's the corpulent zombie Elvis began to decay and molder in the 120 degree Southern heat. But MJ's doc Conrad was on hand to quickly intubate him with 300 vials of embalming fluid and enamel hardener - which luckily held him up for the rest of the evening.

Guests dined on the finest double-deep fried food the South can offer with all efforts made to include the 4 major US food groups: sugar, alcohol, fat & tobacco. The groom carried his own IV pole fitted with un-ending bags of Propofol & Diprivan.

Surprise entertainment was provided by the FOB-MOB (Father of bride - mother of bride) combo with Pa crooning "Are you Lonesome tonight" and chalk-faced botox'd momma doing her version of son-in-law's "Thriller".

Clutching their falling off noses as they left for their honeymoon suite the gargantuan bride who looked like a huge slab of white chocolate cake with tons of whipped cream poured all over promised reporters with a wink:

"MJ's not getting away this time as I plan to take away his virginity"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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