Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 20 August 2010

image for Shakira Admits To Stretch Marks Scandal
Shakira shown measuring her waist. She says that when she performs she loses an averge of 4 pounds per show.

BARCELONA, Spain - Colombian belly dancer and singer Shakira performed her infamous song and dance routine at Barcelona's Running of The Bulls Convention Center.

After her two hour performance, the South American firecracker, who says that she loses about four pounds per performance was asked about the recent charges made by The Phoenix Daily Mentioner newspaper.

Shakira, whose real name is Shakira Isabel Mebarak Ripoll asked what the charge claims were.

She was told that the Phoenix Daily Mentioner had written that they had taken recent photographs of Shakira showing several stretch marks on her lower hips on either side of the top of her butt crack.

Shakira blushed. She shook her head and remarked that she was afraid that people would find out sooner or later. She said that the day that those particular photos were taken she had run out of stretch mark cream which normally covers the stretch marks up where they become totally invisible.

She had run out and did not have time to send one of her assistants to the drugstore to buy some more.

Shakira apologized and said that she did not know what to say. The reporter told her that it was really no big deal since most famous female celebrities have cellulite including Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Lady Gaga, England's Lily Allen, and even Paris "The Do Nothing Rich Little Socialite" Hilton.

After hearing that, Shakira felt better. She smiled as she reached into her purse. She pulled out a tube of Cellulite Be Gone Cream and said "Ole."

In other news. Reports are that Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, whose state is facing a horrendous financial crisis is trying to borrow some money from Oprah Winfrey, Ryan Seacrest, and Larry King.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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