With cries of "Our money is as good as anybody's money", 152 Miss Nude Universe contestants tumbled and rumbled, grabbed and groaned, pulled and tugged , huffed and puffed and contorted their way to the World's biggest flood-aid fund-raiser.
The televised nude catfight and free-for-all was the brainchild of Ms. California who represents USA and claims to have been the "bestest nude cheerleader" her school ever had. She is currently the gal-pal of pageant CEO Donny "Combover" Frump.
"I personally believe-uh that we should open our hearts and minds to all those poor starving suffering people out there like in the Eyeraks, Eyerans, SuthAfikas and suchlikes, so all those women can afford to buy bikinis and thongs and suchlikes", she told reporters as she twirled her 44s
Her bitter opponents were caught on an open mike saying:
"Hearts and minds huh - the only thing that bitch wants to open is her legs."
Phones started ringing off the hook before the show's opening credits had even begun to roll. Within minutes canvassers were having a tough time trying to keep up with viewer interest and the tons of pledges pouring in.
Ban Ki Moon said he was "overwhelmed" by his clarion call to the world for flood aid.
"Just yesterday I was mopping my brow with concern over how we would handle this flood and how I could save my job. But today I'm sweating for a whole different reason! I never knew what being hot & bothered meant till today!!"
At last count the Miss Nudies had raised US $750 trillion with Ms. Venezuela offering herself to the highest bidder - who it is rumored is a heavily medalled, khaki-clad Army dude from a certain Asian nation where he controls the so-called democratically govt.
Breaking news: Ms. Venezuela told your reporter that a certain grinning leader of this Army dude's democratically-elected govt. is demanding a 10% handling fee for himself to facilitate her win.