Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 20 August 2010

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Taylor Momsen says that she would like to visit Buckingham Palace.

ISLINGTON, England - America's "Gossip Girl" Taylor Momsen performed before a sell out crowd on a smoke filled stage in Islington's O2 Academy.

Taylor the lead singer with the band The Pretty Reckless, not to be confused with Norway's The Recklessly Pretty sang her three biggest hits including, "Having The Spotlight On My Headlights Is Really Quite A Trip," "I'm Trash Talking Like I Know What I'm Talking About," and "I'll Let You Flirt With My Perfectly Perfect Ass But Just Don't Tell Chad."

Momsen, who recently has been feuding with Miley Cyrus said that Cyrus is just jealous cause she has extremely pretty long straight blonde hair and Miley has hair like Kathy Griffin except not as old, frizzy, or red.

She was asked about the rumor that she has been dating Kanye "The Pest" West. Taylor ignored the question and said that she will not answer anything pertaining to the man she referred to as "The Microphone Grabber."

Momsen was then asked why it is that she always performs up on stage wearing underwear such as a teddy, a peignoir, a French corset, or just simply a bra and panties.

She smiled, took a drink of her bottle of Ozarka and said that she does not want the males in her audience to have to fantasize what she would look like in her underwear, so she simply shows them, so that they can then pay attention to her show 100%.

The blonde rocker was asked if there is anyone or anything that she would like to meet or see while she is in London.

Taylor thought for a second and said that she would like to meet Queen Elizabeth and ask her how many hats she actually has in her tremendous hat collection.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Her Royal Highness has 1,401 at last count.]

Momsen said that she would also like to visit Windsor Castle and visit the exact spot where The Who, Led Zeppelin, and Petula Clark performed their famous 'Concerts at Windsor Castle' series.

Taylor was asked if she would like to meet one of the Buckingham Palace guards. She nodded that she would but then added that it is her understanding that they are not allowed to talk.

She was asked if she would like to meet Russell Brand instead. She blushed and said that she would but she's afraid that she would most probably end up stealing him away from Katy Perry and she did not want to break the big doe-eyed singer's heart.

SIDENOTE: Queen Elizabeth reportedly told one of her closest aides that she would not mind having Taylor Lautner or Taylor Swift visit, but that she did not want that cheap looking underwear wearing Taylor Momsen anywhere near her palatial palace.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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