LOS ANGELES - The Duffy Bayou-Gauche production of Lesbian Cheerleaders of The NFL will be in theaters one week before the start of this year's NFL season.
Bayou-Gauche said that he worked for three years to secure the rights for the motion picture from its writer Angelina Conchita Lickskillet, an avowed lesbianite herself since 1994.
Miss Lickskillet who lives at the foot of Pikes Peak in Colorado Springs, Colorado said that she wanted to make sure that the film remained true to her book entitled, The Lesbianite Cheerleaders of The NFL.
At first Miss Lickskillet said that she wanted actual lesbians to portray the lesbian cheerleaders, but when she was told that lesbians like Ellen DeGeneres, Melissa Etheridge, Rosie O'Donnell, Meredith Baxter, and Wanda Sykes were either just too old or just not good looking enough she relented.
Bayou-Gauche said that he would fill the parts with non-lesbian actresses. The movie covers the NFL cheerleading squads of The Dallas Cowboys, The Oakland Raiders, and The Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
Britney Spears will portray Lulu Linda Honeydew who was a cheerleader for the Dallas Cowboys. Hayden Panettiere will star as Matilda "Mattie" Breadcracker who cheered for the Oakland Raiders.
Ironically after their cheerleading days were over both Honeydew and Breadcracker moved in together in an apartment in Fort Worth, Texas.
Honeydew was engaged for a few months to Bosco Tony Slingbrewster, a transvestite stripper who worked at Fort Worth's Club What Da Hell.
And Breadcracker actually married Clyde "Bubba" Freetoken, a trailer house repairman, but Bubba soon had the marriage annulled when he realized that Mattie was always making goo goo eyes at women at the grocery store, the gasoline station, and the pawn shops.
SIDENOTE: The movie has been banned in Arizona, Alaska, and Delaware. Governor Jan Brewer of Arizona reportedly stated that she has enough problems with illegal aliens without alienating the lesbianite population of Arizona as well.