Written by P.M. Wortham
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Thursday, 19 August 2010

image for Kanye, Fifty and Justin Bieber Collaborate on New Teenage CD
Bieber's Pre-Teen advisor on song lyrics

Carrying the working title, "I Wanna Hug You All Night", it was clear that adult market rappers, Kanye West and Fifty Cent, were looking to expand to the teenage and pre-teen audiences through a newly formed collaboration with Justin Bieber.

Secretly locked behind closed doors at Fifty's private recording studio, the three artists combined efforts on both words and music for the album, though it was rumored that Kanye and Fifty deferred to Justin for his lead on lyrics that would "connect" better with his younger audience.

"Yeah, that's it", says Fifty Cent bodyguard, T-Payne Armbar. "My boy Fitty knows that lyrics like (I Wanna Smack My Bitch Up or Pass me the Patron and Lime), probably wouldn't appeal to little girls. Justin helped soften it up and made it smooth."

Advance release of five tracks has already reportedly received the "thumbs up" from studio executives while the CD is expected to be released before the holidays. Justin sings lead on most tracks with Fifty and Kanye backing him up with well placed and artistic drop in's like "Uhh". "Oh" and "Yeah". Song titles to be included on the CD reportedly include:

"I Wanna Hug You All Night", (The title track)
"I Need You to Blow Me… A Kiss"
"Open Your Back Door, I'll Carry in Your Book Bag"
"Baby, Put Your Right Hand on My Big Red Twister Game"
"Four and a Half Inches of Love, On My New CD"
"Hold it, Squeeze it, Love it, but Not Too Hard" (The New Puppy Song)
"You Can Feed Me Milk and Cookies, Baby" (The Christmas Song)

Though alternate titles for the CD included "I Want You to Ride It", featuring Justin, alone on a tandem bicycle, record label executives thought that might have gone too far. "I Wanna Hug You All Night" should be on store shelves by Thanksgiving.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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