Written by shea lo
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Wednesday, 18 August 2010

image for TomKat to 'homeschool' Suri. Fear she may "actually learn something" if she goes to school with regular kids

Good old Katie has completely morphed into the paragon of a doormat wife as decreed by Chapter and Verse of the Crazy-cult Marriage Manual.

Having failed with previous wives - the smart one and the confused one, little Mr. Mapother is now grinning maniacally from ear to ear at having totally subjugated Mrs. #3.

Katie has thus far has confined her sense of celebrity motherhood to allowing 4 (going on 30)-yr old daughter Suri to smear lipstick over her face, wear little-girl high heels and 'design' her own wardrobe.

Now, to confirm that she is finally an official "Stepford wife" she has taken to bragging about "how wonderful" hubby is - to keep the little fellow's big ego in order?

It is not known whether she plans to make a jumping-on-the-couch-diazepam-loaded appearance on the Oprah show.

In the latest controlling tactic, TomKat have released a statement that Suri will be "home-schooled". Dumb & Dumber anyone?

Unnamed sources close to both have stated:

"They're afraid if she goes to a normal school she might actually learn something valuable, like the real facts of life, normal human relationships, and the truth about the Universe. It'll make her brainwashing that much more difficult".

"Heaven" forbid that any child could actually 'learn' something in lieu of being totally brainwashed!

4 year-old Suri had no comment except to stick her thumb into her red-lipsticked mouth as she sat on her mommy's hip.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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