SANTA MONICA BEACH - Jessica Simpson was out lying on the beach at Santa Monica taking in some rays when she was asked if the rumor about her getting back with Dallas Cowboy quarterback Tony Romo were true.
Jessica grinned and stuck her finger in her mouth and made a horrible face that kind of resembled a cross between Courtney Love and Arizona Governor Jan Brewer.
The reporter said that he would take that as a "No."
Simpson said that it took her a while but she finally got over Tony dumping her butt on the day before her 29th birthday party. She asked, "What man dumps his girlfriend on the day before her birthday? Hell, that is so un American. That is so wrong. That is so chickenshit."
But Jessica said that she has forgiven him. After all she noted that he did buy her another little puppy last year after hers got stolen by what law enforcement officials figured was either a coyote or perhaps the Chupacabra.
Simpson said that she has gone on a diet and lost 17 pounds. She said that she has quite a bit of weight in the area of her knockers and that she does not have too much in her ass region.
She laughed and said that she would rather have some of her tit weight transferred to her butt region so she can have a booty like Beyonce, Alicia Keys, and Mariah Carey.
Naomi "The Queen of Mean" Campbell heard about Jessica's Simpson's remarks and she said that the next time she sees the cute little blonde skank she will be putting some big time hurt on her little midget ass and she will be wishing and hoping that she had a bigger butt fo sho (for sure).
SIDENOTE: Jessica Simpson does not ever bother anyone. She is just a big grown up little girl who has always gotten her way and now she is a big grown up big girl who is trying to adjust to the ways of the world. She did have a parting word for (Tony) Romo. She said, "Cowboys owner Jerry Jones told you to dump me and you did cause he said that I was a jinx and made the Cowboys lose. Well let's see what he does now that Cowboys receiver Miles Austin is dating the big butted Kim Kardashian. Will Mr. Jerry 'Skeleton' Jones insist that Miles dump Kim when his 'Boys start losing?"