Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Star Wars, Dallas

Tuesday, 17 August 2010

image for Wetwang Man Gets Star Wars Theme and Dallas Theme Mixed-up
The clock tower, from where they used to hang anyone not from Wetwang

(Wetwang, East Yorks:) There was controversy and much laughter in the East Yorkshire village of Wetwang last night, when a man in the local pub became confused, and incorrectly hummed the theme to Dallas when he had intended to hum the theme to Star Wars.

Ernest Dinkle, 148, who is the second-oldest man in Wetwang, was partaking of some refreshment in the bar of The Black Swan public house in the town, and was involved in a mundane conversation about space travel.

For a reason known best to himself, Dinkle inexplicably started to hum the theme to Dallas, which goes:

"De der, de der, de der de-de-der-der, der der der der der der..."

One of his drinking circle looked up from his beer, startled. Jack Flange, 8, asked Dinkle what he thought he was doing, humming the Dallas theme. It was only then that the elderly man realised his humongous error. He told me:

"It was silly of me, but that's what happens to your mind when you pass 140. I should have known the Star Wars theme; I've hummed it so many times here in Wetwang, East Yorkshire, but I have such an extraordinary overload of American show themes in my crackpot cranium, that it's become impossible to sort out one from the others!"

Police are not investigating.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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