Written by Bureau

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Topics: Oil Spill

Monday, 16 August 2010

image for Diane Sawyer, George Stephanopoulos Eat Crow Over Oil Spill

A very humble Diane Sawyer apologized on the ABC Evening News last night that all their features about the oil spill were exaggerated a bit.

"For instance", stated Sawyer, "it was never the size of Eurasia! We only guessed at that. But it was certainly as big as Rhode Island!"

Also apologizing was Robin Roberts.

"There probably wasn't so much pressure building up under the ocean floor to blow Florida away. But it leaked a lot. That may have helped. But...I was wrong."

"Sob! Sob! Now I guess it's my turn. The oil hasn't killed over 500 whales and ten million seabirds but it did kill some", stated a very teary George Stephanopoulos. "I haven't cried this much since the 2000 presidential election."

Weatherman, Sam Champion, also apologized standing in a group waving and carrying signs.

"The explosion Robin was talking about would not really go up the Mississippi River to the New Madrid Fault and split the United States into two parts. But it would certainly have startled some fish I bet. Also, my underwater diving scenes were at Sea World."

The crew then switched to the big asteroid coming to kill us all!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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