BOMBAY, India - Three of India's leading actresses, Aishwarya Rai, Rani Mukherjee, and Preity Zinta, have agreed to star in the Amanpreet Brothers production of Chandra's Angels Vs. The Naked Vampires of Calcutta.
The producers of the film Ashwani and Raheem Amanpreet said that they had been wanting to film the motion picture since last year, but they could not get the three leading actresses together since they were all occupied either making cosmetic commercials, garlic chutney commercials, or anti-beef eating commercials.
And just recently Mukherjee had traveled to Japan to film a public service commercial on the hazards of incorrectly using chopsticks.
Zinta had spent a week recently visiting the American state of Arizona, which she heard President Obama is getting ready to close down completely sometime later this year.
And Aishwarya had traveled to England where she filmed a motion picture for Castle Moat Pictures entitled The Designated Drinkers of Dunstable with Gay Hamilton, Mick Jagger, and David Frost.
But finally the Amanpreets were able to logistically bring the three stunningly beautiful Indian actresses together.
In the movie, the three women play Indian insurance adjusters. Aishwarya portrays Bakula Chembur who owns every CD that Michael Buble has ever made.
Rani portrays Pinga Malabar who is a big fan of The New York Yankees.
And Priety portrays Shaka Kandivali who says she is addicted to McDonald's Chicken McNuggets.
Chandra's Angels travel to Calcutta to investigate a case where a bus driver is claiming that a pack of three pit bulls completely totalled his bus, which is the size of a standard sized Greyhound bus.
While driving to the outskirts of Calcutta the three women are suddenly attacked by a group of naked vampires, which the locals have pegged, the naked vampires of Calcutta.
Without giving away too much of the plot, the three women fight off the naked vampires using illegal taser guns which they purchased in Mumbai from an illegal Mumbai taser dealer, Bapsai Badlapur, Jr.
The naked vampires of Calcutta are completely rendered immobile and 40 or so neighborhood kids proceed to treat the naked vampires as if they were Mexican pinatas.
In a somewhat related story. The rumor circulating throughout Calcutta that American Idol reject Sanjaya Malakar is planning on running for mayor of Calcutta has as of yet neither been confirmed nor denied.