Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 15 August 2010

image for Justin Bieber Says He Has Trained His Pet Hamster Hamilton To Sing "Can't Be Tamed" By Miley Cyrus
Justin Bieber holding his amazing trained hamster, Hamilton.

VANCOUVER, Canada - Justin Bieber performed before a sell out crowd in Vancouver's Snowdrifts of December Stadium.

He told the crowd that he loves performing in his native Canada more than anywhere else except for Dubai, India; Honolulu, Hawaii; or Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.

Justin gave the crowd three encores closing out with his hit song "One Less Lonely Girl For Me To Wrap My Happy Lips Around Her Lonely Lips."

After the concert he and his band drove over to a local McDonald's on Great Northern Way, where Justin had his favorite food Chicken McNuggets smothered in Ketchup.

One of the employees asked if she could ask him a personal question. Justin blushed and replied yes, but just as long as it wasn't about his wiggle widget (bibbidy boo).

She got a puzzled look on her face and asked him what the heck a wiggle widget is. Justin turned redder and told her to go ahead and ask him her question.

The girl identified as 17-year-old Veronica Gingersage asked him if it was true that he had trained his pet hamster, Hamilton to sing the Miley Cyrus song "Can't Be Tamed."

Bieber smiled and answered that yes it took him a total of 90 hours but he managed to get Hamilton to sing the hit song.

He then noted that he had a little bit of trouble with the line, "I'm like a puzzle but all my pieces are jagged." Justin said that for some reason Hamilton kept saying "I'm like a puzzle but all my pieces are missing."

He said that he finally got little Hammy to sing it correctly. Justin said that when Ryan Seacrest saw what Hamilton can do he offered to buy him for $500. Bieber said that he was not for sale.

Ryan then offered him $1,000 and Justin still said no. Bieber thought about it for a while and he told Seacrest that he would consider renting Hammy to him for $85 an hour.

Seacrest said that he would agree to that and the two signed a contract. Justin stipulated in writing that Hammy is not to be touched, tickled, or in anyway messed with in a way that would be considered disrespectful.

SIDENOTE: Ryan said that he will be renting Hamilton for three hours for a party he is throwing for his girlfriend Julianne Hough, who is a big fan of hamsters and who since childhood has owned at least nine hamsters.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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