Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 12 August 2010

image for Sofia Vergara Fires The First Shot In Her Feud With Madonna
Madonna and her bingo arms have been hammered by the gorgeous Colombian actress Sofia Vergara.

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - The sexy, gorgeous star of the sit-com Modern Family, Sofia Vergara has stated that the former singer known as Madonna needs to stop her obsession with botox, collagen, and liposuction.

Vergara, who is a native of Colombia, said that she recalls when Madonna looked normal and not like some strange alien like Donatella Versace, Joan Rivers, or even Burt Reynolds.

Sofia, who is 38, was asked if she had ever had anything done to her fantastically great looking body. She smiled and said that the only thing she has had done is just the normal, everyday things like having it fondled, caressed, kissed, and (blanked).

She said that she will never have anything done except maybe to have some dental cavities filled. Vergara said that she is from the old country and believes that a woman should look like a woman and not like some zombie or werewolf space alien.

When Madonna was told about Sofia Vergara's remark, the ex-material girl asked, "And just who the effen hell is this Sonya Vermillion anyway? I have never heard of the skanky bitch. Is she a friend of Naomi Campbell's or what?"

She was told that Ms. Vergara is one of the stars of the new, hilarious situation comedy Modern Family. Madonna said that the only show she ever watches is The View, and that is because she watches to see the little miss goody two shoes Elisabeth Hasselbeck get her lily white ass kicked by Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar.

Madonna said that she will go into Wikipedia and read up on this Colombian troublemaker and fire off some shit of her own.

One of Sofia's best friends Salma Hayek told her to be careful with Madonna because the 60 something bitch has been known to bite people that she feuds with.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Salma Hayek is absolutely right. Within the past year Madonna has feuded with and bitten Nancy Grace, Miley Cyrus, Clay Aiken, and even 16-year-old Justin Bieber.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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