Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 10 August 2010

image for The Latest in The Peter Crouch-Monica Mint Scandal - Mint Wants To Steal Derek Hough Away From Cheryl Cole
Monica Mint has pubicly said that she can get any man she wants; including President Obama, if she wanted him.

LONDON - The developments in the Peter Crouch - Monica Mint Scandal are developing faster than Heidi Montag's breasts.

It now appears that the gorgeously sexy Spanish prostitute has told a very close friend of hers that her next goal is to take Cheryl Cole's man, the star of America's Dancing With The Stars Derek Hough.

Mint who has been described as one of the most exciting young vixens to ever come out of Spain certainly has all of the goods (and then some) to pretty much achieve whatever it is she wants.

Even England's Russell Brand, who is engaged to big-eyed songstress Katy Perry, pointed out that he has never seen a more physically attractive or sexually desirable woman in his life.

Brand went on to say that Minty, as she is known, in her native Spain, as well as in Italy, Mexico, and Peru, knows exactly how to shake what her sweet mama gave her.

Monica was asked what her short term intentions are. She smiled and said that she would really like to have a go at taking Chezza Cole's blonde boyfriend.

She said that she has seen Derek, whom is known as "The Dancing Dude" and she would like to have him sample her bikini taco, as they say in Barcelona, Madrid, Tijuana, and East Los Angeles.

SIDENOTE: Cheryl Cole was told about Monica Mint's intentions. She merely smiled and said that she does not blame La Senorita Mint for thinking that she can take her Derek away, but that actually taking him away is a different story altogether. She then noted that if she comes anywhere near Hough, Monica will end up with her (Cheryl's) size 6 high heel up her Madrid nalgas (butt).

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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