Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 9 August 2010

image for Taylor Lautner Secretly Dating Heidi Montag
This is a photo of a cat that Taylor bought for Heidi. He named it after her, "Plastic Girl."

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Taylor Lautner and Heidi Montag were seen at West Hollywood's trendy restaurant, The Texas Cattle Stampede Steakhouse.

Lautner 18, said that he has had a crush on Montag ever since he first saw here on the reality show The Hills.

He said that the thing that first drew him to her was not her fantastic pair of tits, or her gorgeous looking ass, or the camel toe emanating from her crotch region. He grinned and said that it was the way she was eating a Hostess Twinkie.

Taylor said that he had never in his life ever seen a female eat a Twinkie with such class, elegance, and downright professionalism.

When he was asked about their five year age difference he just nodded his head and said that if she doesn't mind he certainly doesn't.

Heidi, who is 23, was asked what it was about Lautner, the star of The Twilight Saga series, that first attracted her to him. She giggled and said that she had to be honest. She replied that it was the fact that at 18, he is already a millionaire many, many times over.

She then pointed out that some have criticized her and called her a 'cradle robber' but she said that she doesn't care because there is nothing cradle like about the 'stuff' in Taylor's jeans.

The two are making plans to travel to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico and attend the grand opening of The Baja California Bullring, which is Mexico's first domed bullring.

SIDENOTE: A good friend of Taylor's who did not want his name mentioned said that several of Lautner's friends are saying that there is plastic on parts of Heidi's body that has been there since Taylor was in kindergarten.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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