Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 7 August 2010

image for The Real Reason Entertainment Tonight Fired Mary Hart
A photo taken of Mary Hart back in 1990, when she had the best looking legs on television.

HOLLYWOOD - A executive working on Entertainment Tonight explained the real reason that host Mary Hart was fired.

There has been widespread speculation that the 55-year-old Hart had gotten into an argument with one of the shows producers who wanted her to help get the viewing numbers up by having the South Dakota blonde dress in Daisy Duke short shorts.

Mary said that she would not stoop to that as she was no Jessica Simpson wannabee. She was then asked to appear in a skimpy bikini swimsuit. She balked at that saying that she did not want to be a Gisele Bundchen wannabee.

When the producer angrily asked her then who the hell she wanted to be Mary Hart replied that she wanted to be Mary Hart. The producer said that the Mary Hart he knew had left the building several years ago.

He then told her that she was being fired. He said that he had thought long and hard about it and even if she did agree to wear Daisy Duke short shorts or a bikini swimsuit it would still not work.

When Hart asked him why not he replied, "Because sweety, your once lovely, luscious looking legs are no longer lovely or luscious.

They have developed varicose veins, cellulite, stretch marks, callouses, spider veins, bunions, weird ass blemishes, freckles, hair, and what the hell is up with those two ankle tattoos?"

Mary smiled and told him that her legs did not have hair on them. The producer said that they did from where he was sitting. She told him that she would shave a little closer.

He grinned. Took a sip of his Martini and told her to get her 40 pairs of shoes, boxes and boxes of pantyhose, and her not-very-well hidden vibrator and book a flight back to South Dakota.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Yes ladies and gentlemen, the world of Television can be a very cold, mean, heartless, empire. But not all is negative for Mary Hart. She has reportedly been approached by the makers of the brand new product Cellulite-Be-Gone about being their poster girl...ah poster woman...ah poster grandma.]

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 4?

7 12 13 18
52 readers are online right now!

Go to top