Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 7 August 2010

image for The Alaskan Wilderness Adventures of Sarah Palin and Kate Gosselin
Kate Gosselin on her way to find a private place to pee.

WASILLA, Alaska - Sarah Palin, the former governor of Alaska and Kate Gosselin, the former wife of Korean 'playboy wannabee' Jon "The 3-Inch" Gosselin are both thrilled to be able to spend sometime together, but not in a gay or lesbian way of course.

Palin said that she just wanted for Kate to get away from the "Lower 48" and basically forget that she got her cute, little ass kicked on the reality show Dancing With The Stars.

"Shotgun" Sarah also wanted Kate to forget about the horribly horrendous way she used to treat her ex-husband little Jon Jon, who was hardly allowed (by King Kate) to speak when the cameras for their reality show Jon and Kate Plus 8 were rolling.

Palin also wanted to help Mrs. Gosselin forget all about the $7,000 she blew on those ridiculously looking blonde hair extensions.

"Snow Plow" Palin said that the first day that they were out in the white wilderness Kate asked her where the Port-O-Potty was. Sarah said that she started laughing so hard she almost peed in her camouflaged jockstrap.

She told Gosselin that this was the damn friggin wilderness and out here everyone, men and women alike simply peed out on the snow.

Kate looked at her and went "Yuuuuck!" She told the governor that there was no way that she was going to expose her cute little tuzzy muzzy (furburger) out in the open for the film crew and every damn critter and varmint to see.

Sarah grinned and said for her to stop being such a sissy girl and that she did not have anything on any part of her body that the film crew, elk, caribou, reindeer, or moose had not seen before.

Gosselin told Palin that she would just hold it. Palin replied that she would be holding it for quite a long while because she was planning on being out in the wild for two days.

Kate started crying and said that her lipstick had frozen and it felt like she had little red balls on her lips. Palin giggled and said that she did not want to hear about her adventures with that Chippewa midget medicine man.

Gosselin did not get it and told Palin that she wanted to go back to civilization. She said that she hated the fact that everywhere she looked she saw animal poop.

Sarah told her that she would be fine. She then told her that she would personally take her down by the frozen pond and let her pee. Gosselin asked her if she would watch.

Palin said that she did not care to see her pee or care to see her pee pee thank you and added, that she had seen more chilled muffins in all of her years living up in Alaska than all of those cooking TV show bitches combined.

SIDENOTE: So after an act of congress, Kate Gosselin got to pee. Sarah Palin got to stop listening to the blonde bitch, bitch, and the camera crew leader grinned and said, "Man oh man, these zoom lenses are absolutely amazing!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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