Producers for Eminem and Rihanna's new music video for "Love the Way You Lie", which premiered online Thursday, found the secret for making superidiot Megan Fox as dramatically impactful as she is visually stunning.
Keep her f--king mouth shut.
In the video, Fox plays girlfriend to weird looking Lost guy Dominic Monaghan. And, for whatever reason, cutie-pie Megan turns Monaghan's Mr. Hand into Mr. Fist.
Through the song's verses, Fox and Monaghan argue, slap one another, punch each other, break sh-t. steal from a store, make out, and generally pantomime what a typical day at Mel Gibson's house is like, all while a slimmed-down, dark haired Em performs in the middle of a cornfield.
The thing is: Megan Fox's performance leaps from the screen. Her body language, a prolonged stare, a barely perceptible flinch: She does more acting in this five-minute track then in Transformers I and II. She was compelling, and perhaps the most fap-worth nutbag since Alicia Silverstone stuffed singles between Liv Tyler's boobs in Aerosmith's "Crazy" video*, 16 years ago.**
So, what does Em's video do that movies like 2009's Jennifer's Body couldn't? Simple: "Love The Way You Lie" taps into the crazy-chick mentality that you know seethes in Fox's core, without allowing her to dilute it with her abject idiocy.
However, it is Rhianna, filmed in front of a burning house, which is perhaps most disturbing: You just know when she's singing of domestic violence, she's relating on a very personal level.
"Love...", in stark contrast to Kanye West's "Power" video, which also debuted Thursday, is powerful in a meaningful way, and, for that reason, stands as one of the best music videos of the last 5 years.
* Unless someone makes a video featuring Megan Fox giving Scarlett Johannsenn a panty-massage, "Crazy" will reign as the most fap-worthy. I mean, c'mon, it is kinda creepy when Liv Tyler is dancing like her father on a stripper stage. But, I defy anyone to resist self-love when Tyler racks her thighs akimbo, grabs her crotch, and falls to he knees in front of Silverstone's face.
** Yup, it was that long ago. 1994. 16 years ago. One, Six. Sheesh.