Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 9 August 2010

image for The Beach Boys 27-City Concert Tour Cancelled When Only 34 Tickets Are Sold
K.C. of K.C. and The Sunshine Band as he looks today.

SANTA MONICA BEACH - The California band, The Beach Boys have been performing since 1961. They had made plans to celebrate 50 years in the music business with a 27-city concert tour starting in December.

Their manager Agustus "Flip Side" Hucklecherry, said that the group had only managed to sell 34 tickets nationwide. He said that at first he felt bad about having to tell the 'boys' who are now actually grown men in their mid and late 60s.

Hucklecherry, who himself is 73, said that the idea of the Beach Boys, or more appropriate the Beach Grandpa's, singing their songs from the 60s and 70 about beach babes, surfer girls, sand cuties, and little high school cheerleaders now kinda sounds somewhat lecherous and dirty old man like.

When "Flip Side" told the band members they all kind of mumbled, made faces, and took sips of Geritol. Brian Wilson who is 68, said that he figures that they'll just get their grandsons to take over and use the name The Grandsons of The Beach Boys and perform the songs of their grandfathers.

Hucklecherry said that it is sad to watch some of the old time rock and roll bands still trying to rock and roll the way they did 40 and 50 years ago.

He said that the worst one is K.C. and The Sunshine Band whom he saw perform in Waterloo, Iowa recently before a crowd of 17, at a local car wash.

Hucklecherry said that he laughed when he saw K.C., who now weighs 317, doing his little dance routines to such songs as ("Shake, Shake, Shake) Shake Your Booty," "Get Down Tonight," "That's The Way (I Like It)," and "Shake Those Titties Till The Friggin Cows Come Home."

In a related story. The state of Montana has passed a law that no one over the age of 50 can perform rock and roll songs unless they pay an over-the-hill fee of $1,000 per song.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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