Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 8 August 2010

image for Justin Bieber, Ke$ha, and Big Time Rush To Perform At A "I'm Outta Jail Party" For Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay's on-again, off-again lover Samantha is throwing her one hell of a "I'm Outta Jail Party."

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Lindsay Lohan, the former convict (#362436), said that her ex-boyfriend Samantha "Boy-Boy" Ronson is throwing her a big "I'm Outta Jail Party."

Ronson has booked L.A.'s Staples Center, home of the Los Angeles Lakers for the big shindig.

She has also hired Justin Bieber, Ke$ha, and Big Time Rush to provide the music. The food will be catered by Foods "R" Us from Pomona. And the security is being provided by The Venice Beach Chapter of The Hells Angels.

Ronson said that she just wanted her on-again, off-again sweetheart to know just how much she still means to her. She smiled and said that she knows that LiLo has certainly missed the cute little way that she (Ronson) would play with her (Lohan's) freckled fuzzy wuzzy.

When asked if their would be alcohol available at the party, Ronson replied, "Why hell yes, this is Calieffenfornia, would people in Green Bay, Wisconsin, go to a party that did not have slices of cheese? Would folks in Arkansas go to a party that did not have cornbread? and would sista's and bro's go to a party in Harlem that did not have bling bling? Absofrigginlutely not!"

SIDENOTE: Lindsay Lohan plans to write a book about her experience in prison. She said that the tentative title is Prison Literally Sucks And I Could Hardly Wait To Get My Gorgeous, Little, Freckled Ass Out of The Mother Effen Hell Hole.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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